I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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