His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
