you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
