How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
