But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
