We named our party play list daddy issues
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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