cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
