yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
smell my finger.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
