I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
