i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
