I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
