just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He did a backflip because drugs
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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