i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
