the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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