i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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