I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
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