When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
