Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
