I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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