Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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