Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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