I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
