but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This baby is an asshole
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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