hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
