If i come over, it means nothing
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
