and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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