Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
