sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she peed on how many people?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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