that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
