I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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