i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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