so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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