I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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