sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
