I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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