You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
