It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize