She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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