I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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