NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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