Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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