how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
