Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
