I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
