I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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