I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
