woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
