Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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