I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
