Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
