Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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