she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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