I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize