Can i not drive my cunt home
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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