oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
