I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
