Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

(917): View more from New York City

Thats what she said

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(843): View more from South Carolina

When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.

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(+65): View more from

He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient

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(530): View more from California

On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.

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(281): View more from Texas

I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college

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(513): View more from Ohio

I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house

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