She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
