if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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