Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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