The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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