ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize