I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
