yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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