So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
